Sometimes when you do a great number of things, it leaves relatively little time for things like blogging. Right now is a particularly weird time, because I'm in such a time of transition. Some things are ending while others begin, and making all of those things happen smoothly requires a lot of time and a lot of work.
Since I last wrote, I've been up to the usual stuff. I've been teaching hoop classes, working with my Tangled Woods students, working on making things for Dead Man's, and trying to keep my house in some semblance of order as things are removed from the store and have to find some place to go. I have also started to do some work for a neighbor to bring in a little extra money, and am doing all I can to keep up with my responsibilities for the Watertown Chamber, even though my attention is really elsewhere at the moment. I also celebrated Litha with the coven, which was fun but weird. Litha is the summer solstice, which marks the first day of summer and the longest "day" (in terms of daylight hours) of the year. This year, however, it was stormy and overcast. It's always a bit odd celebrating a sun festival on a cloudy day, but the gods definitely have a sense of humor, so we try to take it all in stride!
Probably the biggest thing that has happened since my last entry is that Matt and I have begun the daunting task of packing up the store in preparation for the move. We have been putting it off for a while, probably because it is an overwhelming task, but maybe even more so because it's a bittersweet thing to have to do. I think we have both gone through a period of feeling a sense of defeat, and I think we both needed time to step away and process that before we could muster the motivation to jump in. However, now that we have started, things are moving along super-quickly, and I think we are both feeling a sense of relief. Surprisingly, having taken the plunge, there seems to be no more lingering doubt, and everything just feels positive. There is still a lot of uncertainty about the re-opening in Nashville part of things, but this part, at least, feels absolutely right. We had reached a point with the store where our options, basically, were to try it somewhere else or give it up entirely. We are nowhere ready to give up on it yet, and while we have no way of knowing what giving it a shot in Nashville will ultimately mean for us, we just couldn't stick it out in Watertown anymore. It was beginning to drain us dry...not just in terms of finances and resources, but also in terms of energy and enthusiasm. We got a fair amount of criticism there towards the end, but whether or not it was apparent to the outside world, we know that it wasn't because we weren't working or trying hard enough. It was like managing a 3-ring circus trying to keep a store going that not only had nothing, but that consistently lost more and more money. And there were no more hoops to jump through...at least not that would make any difference. We still believe that what we want to do will be powerful and well-received somewhere, and I think we'd be doing ourselves a disservice not to at least try it somewhere else, sink or swim. We can tell that there are some people in Watertown who think we're doing the wrong thing, and that's tough. It's always hard to stick to your guns when people are telling you you're making a mistake. We would never be so bold as to say that we don't think Watertown will ever improve in terms of business and prosperity. I don't even really believe that. We just don't have the faith anymore that that change is right around the corner, and can't really wait any longer. This isn't a hobby for us. We are throwing literally everything we have into it, and it was starting to feel like if we didn't do something to make a change we would just be throwing it all away.
And so, ever onward we move! I think that's why it actually feels surprisingly good to be bringing this chapter to a close. Even though we will have a period of down time and recovery before we'll be able to re-open, it feels good to be taking some action. It does suck to feel disenchanted with Watertown, but hopefully we have taken this step soon enough that we won't feel bitter about Watertown. Since we don't live directly in Watertown, we won't necessarily just be there all the time, so I'm sure it will appear that we have disappeared. And for a while, that might be the case. Our focus really is elsewhere right now. But one thing we'll never regret about starting Dead Man's there is the people we have met and the friends we've made, and hopefully once it's all said and done, we'll be able to stay in touch with them.
And now it's on with the rest of the day! I have to get some work done for the neighbor, and I really need to catch up on some housework. I also have a Chamber officer's meeting today, and a Tangled Woods coffee night at Cafe Coco this evening. I'm looking forward to that, because I'll get to see some tradition-mates I haven't seen in a while, spend time getting to know some of our students a little better, and meet some new seekers. After that, Matt and I are going to see Nick 13 at Mercy Lounge. So it will be a full day!
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